Hi, I'm... uhh... I forgot my name.

Anyway, recently, (well not really), there have been these things flying around on the server. They teleport to people and do fairy like magic, leaving most, if not all of their clients happy, or happier.

If you're not happy, or happier, after getting visited by one of these fairies, then.. I don't know... suck it up why you so serious.

Moving on, these fairies are delicate creatures, so I've decided to make a guide on how to PROPERLY take care of them, like you would take care of your pet goldfish. Or your pet rock. I don't judge.

1. BE PATIENT. These fairies work hard and are swarmed by about 3x more things than a normal player. So if you ask for help and they don't immediately bow down before you on their knees, don't go yelling about why they're racist and ignoring you. Which leads me to point #2.

2. SPAM US, BUT DON'T BE A SPAMMER. What I mean by this is that since chat moves so bloody fast, sometimes (a lot of times) we miss messages like "MY HOUSE IS ON FIRE" or "I RAN INTO LAVA WHY DID I LOSE MY STUFF". The rule in these situations is if you are ignored for more than 5 minutes, type your request again, or even better...

3. WHISPER US INSTEAD. I can't stress how important this is. Whispering not only separates your message from the spam in public chat and makes it easier for us to spot your cries for help, but... wait no, there's no but. Just whisper us. It makes it so much easier. But if you do...

4. PLEASE COLOR YOUR NAME. There is a color name changer at spawn. Like, go to the spawn shop where all those squidwards hang out, and look for a NAK pool. There should be some stairs leading down into a scary looking cave. Its's not. Click one of those buttons and color your name. Please. It colors your name in whispers, making it even EASIER to distinguish, again, your cries about why your house is on fire and you weren't smart enough to get fire insurance so you could capitalize on this golden opportunity. Just don't choose black.

5. IF YOU ASK FOR HELP, MEAN IT. Something that pisses me off is when a player says "HELP ME PLEASE I'M DYING" only for us fairies to rush over and find out it's because the lemonade they're drinking on their fancy yacht isn't the right temperature. At that point we're tempted not only to knock that lemonade right out of your hands, but to punch a hole in your boat too so you sink. We don't though, because we're nice.

6. IF YOUR REQUEST IS SIMPLE, JUST TYPE IT OUT. I see players going "Is there an OP", and then I find out they want a spawner change. This is annoying during rush hour. Here's the thing. We can, with our magical powers, infiltrate your inventory and yank things out if we wanted to. So if you want that spawner to become a chicken, just say so, and we can literally pause whatever we're doing, do *snap*, and just like that, it becomes KFC. Just make sure it's actually in your inventory.

7. WE ARE FAIRIES. NOT ROBOTS. <---. Read this again. We aren't robots. We have feelings. We get sad when people yell at us, and even sadder when people hate us. All we try to do is make people happy (see the first paragraph), but it's difficult if you're trying to cut our wings off when we're flying around. No wings means no flying. No flying means we have to walk. And walking takes a really, really long time.

tl;dr If your fairy is happy, you probably will be too. Just make sure you read (yes you lazy skimmer, I'm talking to you) so you can make us happy, and in return, we might just get you fire insurance for your poor planning.

Edit: Added one more:

8. WE DON'T DO UNCLAIMS FOR THE NEXT 30 DAYS (Or Whatever). Co i data is corrupted, so any claim with some random hexadecimal string is off limits. Orders from the head fairies. Don't hate on us.